Over at Traditional Notions, Dave expresses some disgust towards one of his grades, and along with that, towards law school:

You win, law school. I know there will be other times when I will have perspective and will appreciate how you made me stronger, how you did fulfill those hopes I had when I entered. But for now, I am like the rest of the people who made it through the first third of your toll: I, too, have felt the pain you can incur. Law school sucks.

On the other hand, Dave's ambitions have clearly been greater:

The only thing that kept me going was the 3.84, the possibility of transfer, the possibility of scholarships, the possibility of firms licking my toes in order to persuade me to sign my life away to them, the possibility of someday becoming the Chief Justice of the Supreme Fucking Court (not really, but one can dream when one has a 3.84). Civ Pro had just kicked me in the nuts and taken it all away.

Of course, I've never been terribly near a 3.84. I never planned on transferring, because no place I'd want to transfer to was willing to accept some sorry sap who started in a part-time program. Money would be nice, of course, but that's where work comes in.

Throughout my time in law school, I've been somewhat fortunate to have been hearing a perspective from nearby saying, "Pass and move on." It hasn't often been my perspective, just that of a recently graduated friend of mine from school. I may not live it, but I sure want to. My goal, as his, is to become a lawyer, and for that, we don't need to be at the very top. Unless we transfer out, we're already limited by where we go to school. The upper echelons of class rank are nice, and I'm glad to have spent at least one semester (the past one) somewhere near the top.

At the same time, I'm "older," as is Dave (I've assumed Dave is older than I, but that's only because his darker hair betrays more than mine does.) When I started law school, I wanted to enjoy it. I sure didn't want all of this:

I got the flu for a few weeks. Arteries that I didn't know I had in my brain started throbbing regularly as I tried to read. I even went to the emergency room because I was having some sort of advanced anxiety attack that made me think I was having a stroke. I either couldn't sleep, or I couldn't not sleep.

I didn't want to hate law school, and after three years of slogging across the Bay Bridge 3 or 4 nights a week, I still don't. I still enjoy it, in fact. I want my grades to be be good, but less than (what I consider) good hasn't killed me (though I may have thought my first C- would.)

I'd just advise folks to bear in mind, it'll only grind you up if you let it. And if you can get into the "Pass and move on" mindset, you may be happier still.

Hang in there, Dave. You've got two more years; I hope you can find a way to enjoy them.

Greetings from the Hong Kong Airport, where I am feeling better already.

I wasn't trying to say that I don't like law school. I do. Just that, as with anything worthwhile, it takes it's toll sometimes. I had managed to get through the first year relatively unscathed, and then law school managed to claim another victim to it's beat-you-down-and-build-you-back-up clutches. And there is no blame there (except my own for wanting silly things like grades)... if law school were not hard it would not be as, well, worthwhile as it is. No pain, no gain, right? It doesn't mean that when you hit the pain part that it doesn't suck.

Anyway... I just need a break from the bubble. 9 months of devoting yourself to one singular goal os a little f'ed up... just need to losse sight of it for awhile. SE Asia seems like exactly the place to do that.... no one has any idea what the hell law school is.

Oh, and I am "only" 32! Still a lot of time to dream.

See you in the Fall.